This week's DVD review -- Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave

And the worst DVD release of 2007 is director Ellory Elkayem's "Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave." It may only be April, but it's not too early to say nothing could beat this terrible trifecta of cheesy dialogue, over-the-top stupidity and bad acting to ruin anyone's appetite for film like the fifth installment in the "Return of the Living Dead" series.

The original "Return of the Living Dead" (1985) was deliciously sarcastic, dripping with gore, and crammed full of new, brain-chewing talking zombies. Even "Return of the Living Dead III" (1993) brought us further innovation - a "Romeo and Juliet" style romance between a young man and his recently deceased (and reanimated) girlfriend.

But apparently the series has run out of steam - though, apparently, not zombie-producing Trioxin.

"Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis" (part 4) premiered on the Sci-Fi channel at the same time as "Rave to the Grave" in 2005, and was released to DVD a year earlier. I thought since the films were made so close together, the one failing they would not suffer is continuity - but I was wrong.

"Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave" opens to find Becky (Aimee-Lynn Chadwick), Julian (John Keefe) and Cody (Cory Hardrict) away at college, seemingly oblivious to their near-death (and undeath) experiences the previous year in "Necropolis."

Instead, the only mention of any previous problems are unspecific mentions of government connections to Julian's uncle's recent murder and the mysterious canisters - of (what else could it be but) Trioxin - in his family's attic.

Julian drags the canister into a campus science lab for Cody to analyze in the middle of the night. Instead, Cody uses it to produce "Z" - a party drug that produces hallucinations so powerful that "you just stand there, like a zombie" - for an upcoming Halloween rave.

DJ Jeremy (Cain Manoli) and drug-dealer Skeet (Catalin Paraschiv) begin selling the green capsules around campus, assuring that what Jeremy touts as the "rave to the grave" certainly will be (or, more aptly, the "rave ending in a brain-chewing frenzy").

Whether it was a failed joke or the result of someone letting an elementary school student help with the plot, the worst moment of "Rave to the Grave" was a decayed, Trioxin-dripping zombie attempting to hitchhike in broad daylight and no one noticing (or, at least, reacting) to its presence.

I can think of few fates worse than becoming a brain-craving zombie - having to watch "Rave to the Grave" is one of them.

Originally published in The Chronicle in April 2007 as Jade Lee Culberson