Things I can't get behind

On William Shatner's album "Has Been" (2004), he performs a duet with Henry Rollins called "I Can't Get Behind That" where they list trends and societal situations with which they disagree. That song is the inspiration for this column.

Things I Can't Get Behind …
1) Burger King restaurants that sell tacos. If I want a taco, I'll go to a Mexican food restaurant. If I want a fast food taco, I'll go to Taco Bell. If I'm at Burger King, it's because I want American food - I'm all for Burger King having the veggie burger option, because it's still a burger. But having tacos on the menu is just ridiculous.
2) Chicagoans who think people shouldn't put ketchup on hot dogs. Apparently, because the traditionally prepared "Chicago-style hot dog" doesn't have ketchup on it, no hot dog should. And they get angry about it - as though it's actually wrong to put ketchup on a hot dog. Ryan Manno, a Q101 DJ, has even had a debate about this on his radio show. I say it's a matter of personal preference, but I can't get behind people who try to dictate what other people put on their hot dogs.
3) The way small, independently owned movie theatres have become an endangered species. Megaplexes are running the small theatres out of business and leaving us corporate-run places that are completely devoid of personality.
4) People who think it's pretentious to drink wine. Yes, wine coolers are girly - I'll agree with that - but there's nothing pretentious (or girly) about a bottle of merlot you can buy for $6 at Meijer, right across from the beer.
5) Anyone who text messages while actively driving a car. I can understand a glance down at an incoming text when you're at a stop light, but either drive or text (or call the person on your hands-free phone, since everyone on the planet seems to have a Bluetooth headset these days anyway).
6) States and local ordinances that ban smoking in taverns. I can understand banning smoking in restaurants because a lot of people don't like to smell cigarette smoke while they're eating. A lot of people who drink smoke cigarettes and a lot of people who don't consider themselves "smokers" smoke when they drink.

Originally posted in The Chronicle in September 2007