Two weeks ago, I listed a lot of things I can't get behind (from the William Shatner song), but I have one thing left to complain about - places that shouldn't have drive-thrus but do anyway. There are lots of places where a drive-thru is fine - even expected - such as fast food restaurants like Taco Bell, McDonalds and Burger King. I'll even grant the not-quite-fast-food places like Dairy Queen (though ordering a cooked-to-order burger in the drive-thru is likely to irritate all the ice cream seekers behind you), Boston Market and Long John Silvers.
There are places where a drive-thru just doesn't belong - like Starbucks. If you can't get out of your car and wait in line to list off your silly-sounding coffee order, you don't need it. If you're in too much of a rush, skip the "Grande Mocha Latte with skim, no foam, please," and get a cup of actual coffee somewhere. If the weather is too treacherous to get out of the car, you probably don't need the distraction of boiling hot coffee while you drive.
For a long time, there was a Fazoli's Restaurant in Schererville (there's still one in Valparaiso and one in Indianapolis). Fazoli's is one of those not-quite-fast-food places, but it takes awhile to get the food because they prepare dishes to order. They also serve messy, sauce-covered Italian dishes. Fazoli's is a great example of a place with food too complicated and messy for drive-thru service.
But the one that bothers me most - the place at which I think a drive-thru is nothing short of ridiculous - is pizza places. For instance, the Pizza Hut on Ridge Road in Griffith has a drive-thru. Pizza takes a long time to prepare, so ordering it through the drive-thru window (if you can even do that - I'm thinking you still have to order over the phone first) wouldn't make any sense. If you call in your order and don't feel like walking into the establishment, have it delivered. If you call in but don't want delivery, step inside and pick it up. I haven't even begun to figure out the physics of getting a pizza through the drive-thru window, through the car window, and down into the car without a cheese-covered disaster.
Originally published in The Chronicle in 2007
My writing -- poetry, short stories, excerpts, vignettes -- is here because I'd like to share it with those who are interested. I always appreciate constructive criticism, but don't feel obligated to comment at all. If you don't like snarky reviews, blood, guts, description, sadness, intense imagery, journalism in a style fully inspired by The Good Doctor himself (Hunter S. Thompson), and frankness, you may want to pass this one by.
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