Survive a zombie attack with 'World War Z'

Max Brooks provided us with a guide to surviving possible zombie attacks in "The Zombie Survival Guide" (2003). Now Brooks is back, with an eerily realistic account of a fictional war in which the world was overtaken by zombies called "World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War."

Brooks tells the stories of people touched by the world-wide zombie war across the globe. The individual tales feel so real, with such detail and expression, that it's hard to believe one person could write from so many perspectives. Though it is clear Brooks is expressing his own political ideas through this work, politics never gets in the way of heartbreaking - or, occasionally, heartwarming - stories of a world torn apart.

From the story of an Australian astronaut who risked his life and health believing he would likely never be rescued while on a space mission during the outbreak to a chaplain in Siberia who was charged with the task of mercifully shooting soldiers who had been bitten by zombies, the tales told by Brooks' characters are the ones that would happen if the dead ever did happen to rise from their rest. Brooks gets under your skin and into your head.

Heroic anecdotes, such as American military stand against the walking dead in Yonkers, N.Y, remind us that not everyone gets out alive, even when we win. Brooks does keep a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor (what else could you expect from Mel Brooks' son), and refers - on several occasions in the book - to the use of a civilian survival guide that was used by Americans during the war. Just under 350 pages in hardcover, "World War Z" is worth the read for everyone who enjoys zombies, conspiracy theories and survivalist fiction. Be warned, however, this isn't a gory sci-fi movie in print form. If you want George A. Romero's "Dawn of the Dead," go rent the film - "World War Z" is a character study about the lives touched by the events more than the events themselves.

Originally published in The Chronicle in January 2007 as Jade Lee Culberson.

Society hooked on celebrities' addictions

I don't understand why our society is obsessed with celebrities who spend most of their time and money destroying themselves.

While perusing the news online this week, I've seen several versions of the recent "Lindsay Lohan checked herself into rehab" story, which include rumors that she received an intervention from movie executives and her mother's statement that she is very proud of her daughter for seeking help. Since all Lohan seems to have said publicly about the issue is that she would like to be given privacy and she's enjoying this season of "American Idol," I don't understand why she's making headlines.

Britney Spears' career was recently helped by her filing for divorce and then flashing her privates. Since when is this more useful to a star's career than actually making an album or film? We've always enjoyed watching celebrity scandal, but now it seems that society prefers self-destruction to juicy rumors.

So-called "reality TV" now includes VH1's "Shooting Sizemore," in which it seems, so far, the viewer is forced to watch Tom Sizemore rant about how his acting was better when he was doing crystal methamphetamine and how he has no confidence in himself sober.

What is so interesting about a celebrity who claims he/she is miserable and addicted to drugs and/or alcohol because of the "burden" of fame and fortune? If fame and wealth are so difficult to deal with, why not just give it up? Maybe get an education and get a real job?

Celebrities have gotten themselves addicted to drugs and alcohol for as many years as celebrity status has existed - why are we still so interested? My suggestion - skip the article about what Lohan wore to rehab and read about politics or (imagine this) a book.

Originally published in The Chronicle in January 2007 as Jade Lee Culberson.

This week's DVD review -- Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave

And the worst DVD release of 2007 is director Ellory Elkayem's "Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave." It may only be April, but it's not too early to say nothing could beat this terrible trifecta of cheesy dialogue, over-the-top stupidity and bad acting to ruin anyone's appetite for film like the fifth installment in the "Return of the Living Dead" series.

The original "Return of the Living Dead" (1985) was deliciously sarcastic, dripping with gore, and crammed full of new, brain-chewing talking zombies. Even "Return of the Living Dead III" (1993) brought us further innovation - a "Romeo and Juliet" style romance between a young man and his recently deceased (and reanimated) girlfriend.

But apparently the series has run out of steam - though, apparently, not zombie-producing Trioxin.

"Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis" (part 4) premiered on the Sci-Fi channel at the same time as "Rave to the Grave" in 2005, and was released to DVD a year earlier. I thought since the films were made so close together, the one failing they would not suffer is continuity - but I was wrong.

"Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave" opens to find Becky (Aimee-Lynn Chadwick), Julian (John Keefe) and Cody (Cory Hardrict) away at college, seemingly oblivious to their near-death (and undeath) experiences the previous year in "Necropolis."

Instead, the only mention of any previous problems are unspecific mentions of government connections to Julian's uncle's recent murder and the mysterious canisters - of (what else could it be but) Trioxin - in his family's attic.

Julian drags the canister into a campus science lab for Cody to analyze in the middle of the night. Instead, Cody uses it to produce "Z" - a party drug that produces hallucinations so powerful that "you just stand there, like a zombie" - for an upcoming Halloween rave.

DJ Jeremy (Cain Manoli) and drug-dealer Skeet (Catalin Paraschiv) begin selling the green capsules around campus, assuring that what Jeremy touts as the "rave to the grave" certainly will be (or, more aptly, the "rave ending in a brain-chewing frenzy").

Whether it was a failed joke or the result of someone letting an elementary school student help with the plot, the worst moment of "Rave to the Grave" was a decayed, Trioxin-dripping zombie attempting to hitchhike in broad daylight and no one noticing (or, at least, reacting) to its presence.

I can think of few fates worse than becoming a brain-craving zombie - having to watch "Rave to the Grave" is one of them.

Originally published in The Chronicle in April 2007 as Jade Lee Culberson

Take a walk down 'Crooked Little Vein'

Warren Ellis' "Crooked Little Vein" is a warped little walk in the shoes of private Dick Michael McGill, a man for whom without bad luck he'd know no luck at all.

Twisted tales are no stretch for Ellis - known by most for his work on graphic novels "Transmetropolitan," "Planetary" and "Nextwave." His newest comic book, "Doktor Sleepless" (published by Avatar Press) is a science fiction story of a discontented future. In his first novel, Ellis proves that his crazy creations only get better as they get longer. "Crooked Little Vein" is deliciously disturbing all the way through.

Ellis wastes no time with pleasantries before greeting the detective with a visit from the chief of staff - a heroin-addicted man with a mission to find the political Holy Grail. According to the chief of staff, there is an alternate Constitution - a presidential book of secrets that forces those nearby to read the text and obey the message. This book, which he claims can restore America's morality, is missing. If McGill can find and return the book he'll receive a payment beyond his wildest dreams. In the meantime, he has the chief of staff looking over his shoulder.

Finding a book sounds easy - even a rare antique shouldn't be too hard to find when you have leads. But this is no ordinary book. McGill suddenly finds himself in a world of underground depravity that make even his strangest days past look like Disney films.

First, he finds a link to a branch of the porn industry involving large lizard (Godzilla-type creature) enthusiasts. There he meets Trix - who is not actually a large lizard enthusiast, but a student writing her thesis on extreme self-inflicted human experiences - a sexy and lustful young woman who agrees to work as McGill's assistant while he looks for the book. Things just get weirder from there.

During whirlwind travels that begin with a group of men who enjoy injecting salt water into their nether-regions, and then a beef and bull soaked trip through Texas, McGill and Trix discover they've only reached the tip of the conspiracy theory iceberg. Ellis jabs at American politics - not with a knife but a broad sword - cutting social commentary without losing the wit, intrigue and shock soaked through the heart of the novel.

Not for general consumption, "Crooked Little Vein," will offend many and cause projectile vomiting in the faint of heart (and right-wing conservatives). But for those who want to join Ellis on this perilous journey, the reward is great.

Originally published in The Chronicle in September 2007.