Photographs of Memories (2004)

She takes photographs of memories
Fearing they'll slip away
And she wakes up alone
Gripping a pillow she wishes was him
She lives in a shadow of forgotten goals
And a woman she'll never be
She reads books more rarely now
Curses to herself when she forgets the ending
Waiting for a tomorrow that never comes
She counts lonely nights
Remembering (too fondly) the bad days
Where home was a haze of pretty pills
And sweet unconscious hours
But now she knows carefully said words
Well-timed smiles and hidden tears
She clings tightly to her slightly torn sanity
Holding on for dear life (wishing for death)
Swimming through stories in movies
And trying to make it okay
She sees home in his smile
But feels none in her heart
And her soul has been gone awhile
So she takes photographs of memories
And looks at them alone late at night
Wondering if this is as good as it gets
But always wanting more