The previews for "Turistas" make it look like a suspenseful film full of beautiful (and scantily clad) young women accompanied by toned (and muscled) young men who innocently fall victim to crazed killers who torture lost tourists. Instead, "Turistas" is a rather predictable film about stupid (albeit attractive) tourists who wander into bad situations and get what's coming to them.
A group of tourists - including American siblings Alex (Josh Duhamel) and Bea (Olivia Wilde), Australian loner Pru (Melissa George) and confused Brits Liam (Max Brown) and Finn (Desmond Askew) - are taking a bus through Brazil, which is driven by a man who seems to have learned to drive by playing American video games. When the bus crashes (like we couldn't see this coming a few seconds into the film), the group is told that another bus will be along in 10 hours.
With the promise of a bar on the beach a short hike away, the English-speaking tourists leave the larger group in search of alcohol and fun. Unfortunately, they soon find the bar has a "come for the drinks, stay for the organ harvesting" policy. Rather than doing anything logical or sensible, the group runs from bad situation to worse at every opportunity.
The bad guys, led by Dr. Zamora (Miguel Lunardi), are greedy, angry and disorganized but far smarter than the tourists. Whether you're hoping the tourists will live or just waiting for some gore, it doesn't take long before you're just looking forward to the end of the movie.
Unfortunately, there are extraordinarily long dark and murky scenes (presumably, in an attempt at either realism or suspense but succeeding at neither) badly designed by cinematographer Enrique Chediak. The underwater filming (including chase scenes) by Peter Zuccarini is beautiful the first time, and terribly boring after about five minutes - sadly, it goes on much longer.
Rated R for strong graphic violence and disturbing content, sexuality, nudity, drug use and language, "Turistas" is certainly gory despite failing as a horror film. Perhaps "Turistas" would have at least been shocking if premiered before "Hostel" and the "Saw" films but instead it does more of the same and with less intelligence and less successful social commentary.
Originally published in The Chronicle in December 2006 as JadeLee Culberson
My writing -- poetry, short stories, excerpts, vignettes -- is here because I'd like to share it with those who are interested. I always appreciate constructive criticism, but don't feel obligated to comment at all. If you don't like snarky reviews, blood, guts, description, sadness, intense imagery, journalism in a style fully inspired by The Good Doctor himself (Hunter S. Thompson), and frankness, you may want to pass this one by.
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